The Garden

The Spirit, baseball, and restoration

jamey — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:33:21 +0000

03/31/2011

My wife and I received a call from Darren and Alex, inviting us to have dinner with and John and Chris from St Mary’s Church. We walked over to their house and were both wondering what the night was going to be like. We walk in, are greeted by John and Chris and we sit down for dinner. We joked, laughed, told stories, and had a great time. We got to talk about our lives, our dreams, and what had brought us to The Garden and to Darren and Alex. It was all going exactly like I expected. We ended the night (or what I thought was the end) with wine and good conversation. Then John, like a surgeon, began asking deeper questions to Lydia and me. He asked us to put the following in order for our lives, “People, Principals, and Projects.” We started down that road and he unwrapped our lives to a very raw center of realization. That Lydia is a strong leader, a little cold, but a gifted adventuring truth teller who doubts herself. John Peters said that she reminds him of himself. Myself, a people oriented, love comes first, visionary who is a little blind. He walked us through how we each should compliment one another, how our gifts are very unique to His purpose and how we can “nuke” our gifts by denying they exist and reacting in the wrong way to them. It was some heavy stuff, and my wife was visibly uncomfortable with some of these new revelations. With that, he asked if we could pray. Of course we said yes. He asked us to stand, close our eyes, open our hands and give the Holy Spirit permission to work in us. We did that and Chris, John, Darren and Alex began to pray over us. I will speak from my perspective because that is really all I can speak on.

John began to pray, in a prophetic way, truth over my life. There were words of affirmation, truth, and precision in the words being spoken over me. I definitely felt love by the Spirit, but nothing that was out of the normal for me. He was speaking in some tongues, but it wasn’t distracting, it was, in a way, a love language that was guiding the words of affirmation being spoken over me. After he was done, I began to feel a strange sensation over my face. The only way I can describe it is a tingling sensation that seemed to grow in intensity and was spreading. Yes, I was a little weirded out, but I said, “God, if this is you, bring it.” Alex then began praying over me, tender words, sweet words, comforting words. I realize now that I was being walked down a specific path. It wasn’t choreographed by those praying for me, it was guided by the Holy Spirit. It was like He was saying, “Come, Jon. I have an amazing place to show you. Just trust me.”

Now, as I write the rest of this, I am speaking of what I remember experiencing, and also what those in the room saw. I was completely aware the entire time, but I was also so wrapped up in what was going on, that others had to fill in the pieces.

Well, Chris came to pray for me and said, “Jon, I have this vision. It’s a very American picture, but I see you playing little league baseball and you are standing on the field wondering where your father is.” At that moment, there was a deep, deep feeling inside of me that was welling up and that came out in what I can only describe as a guttural crying wail of grief and pain. I found this out later, but it was so loud that the downstairs neighbors had come up and thought there was a fight going on. I fell to the floor and just began to weep and wail uncontrollably. The reason I think this picture hit me so hard comes in two parts. One, my dad is now entirely absent in my life. When I was 13 years old, a year after my parents had been separated, he dropped me off at home one day and said, “Jon, it’s just too hard to be your dad. It hurts too much. And I feel that if I am in your life, I will only bring you hurt and pain.” Bye, dad. Second, whenever I think of my childhood, my mind always takes me back to the memory of the little league team I was on and how happy I was that my dad and I would practice together and the few games he was able to go to were moments of celebration for me.

So, here I am, in a mess of emotion, and grieving the loss of my father in a way I have never experienced. Chris was continuing to pray, revealing the truth and love of my true Father in heaven. These are all things I knew and believed before, but I was in such a raw state of grief and vulnerability, that this time it was actually healing my broken heart. At this point, my wife is in tears seeing the state that her husband is in. She was being comforted and guided by everyone there that this was normal and a good thing. Well, I’m still wailing, grieving and in an absolute state of vulnerability when I start to get that tingling sensation over my face again, but this time it spreads to my entire body, from my head to my toes. My heart starts racing, I start breathing like I have just ran a marathon, and I realize that the Holy Spirit is being poured out onto me. I hear a whisper from Darren, “You may be given the gift of tongues, don’t fight it.” I have never spoken in tongues. I have had one experience with it, where someone spoke in tongues and I clearly saw a vision. Other than that one instance, I have put the gift of tongues on the backburner, in a way afraid of it, mystified by it, and something that I really didn’t want or care to visit again. Then it came. I was trying to speak English, but all that was coming out was this strange language that I could not, at first, comprehend. But a few phrases into it, I understood it and it played out like a love poem to my soul. There was nothing else I could say. I didn’t need to force it because it seemed that it was my only option of response. I clearly remember speaking out in a state of grief, but it was immediately followed by a statement and feeling of love. I’ll do my best to describe it: I realized last night that tongues isn’t a linear language. I’m not able to write out the language of tongues as I am writing out this right now. There were layers upon layers of meaning and emotion in a single word. It’s as if the questions I was asking out loud were being answered in the same phrase I was speaking. It was as if each word I was speaking was healing, loving, affirming, comforting, and lifting me up. I wrote a little of the dialogue I remember:

Where have you been father!? I have been here the whole time my son.
Where were you when I needed you?! My son, I am filled with so much love for you. It’s going to be ok. Come, find your rest love and peace in me. I love you, Father. I praise you! I am so sorry your dad has failed you, but I am here, and that is all that matters. I will never fail you. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. You are mine, my child, my son. There is nothing that has ever or will ever separate my love from you. Let’s celebrate our love, let’s celebrate my truth, and let’s celebrate the love I desire for this entire world.

To give you a picture of what’s going on, I am on the ground, literally rolling around on the floor, crying, laughing, smiling and speaking in this amazingly strange language. They had to move all the furniture out of the way because I was so animated by the Spirit. The last thing I was thinking was how silly I probably looked. I didn’t care. I was still aware of what was going on, but I was so filled with His love that it was as if I was literally drunk. The feeling of love was so strong that I had to lie on the floor for about 45 minutes before I even had the strength to get up. After I felt it pass, I got up and we debriefed a bit, but my mind was so out of it that it was hard to concentrate. Days later, I was still feeling the echoes of what happened that night. I had and still have a new sense of healing inside of me. I feel like I was given a new heart, a softer heart. I was given an aerial view of my life last night, one that I know is marked by God. I am His forever, and He is forever mine.

Oh, and that vision that Chris had, about the little league game. I found out later that night that he was picturing the scene from the movie, “Hook,” with Robin Williams, where Jack, Peter Pan’s son, was a baseball player for Captain Hook and the pirates. Guess what the name of my little league team was? The Pittsburg Pirates.

-Jon

January 15th, 2012

jamey — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:27:44 +0000

Read Mark 1:1-11.

¹ As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage and Bethany at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples, ² saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and just as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. ³ If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here shortly.’”

⁴ They went and found a colt outside in the street, tied at a doorway. As they untied it, ⁵ some people standing there asked, “What are you doing, untying that colt?” ⁶ They answered as Jesus had told them to, and the people let them go. ⁷ When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it. ⁸ Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields. ⁹ Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted,

“Hosanna!^[a]”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”^[b]

¹⁰ “Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

¹¹ Jesus entered Jerusalem and went into the temple courts. He looked around at everything, but since it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the Twelve.

Jesus isn’t concerned with patching up your raggedy rags. He doesn’t want to put icing on your crap. He wants to give you a whole new self. The problem is that we really don’t know what is good for us. Jesus knows exactly what we need, and it may be the very thing we don’t want. If you haven’t been disappointed by Jesus yet, you may not be following him closely enough.

If Jesus just “fixed” our problems, without giving us new selves, we would just learn to live continually in a broken, upside down world.

Have you been accustomed to viewing your relationship with Jesus this way? That he is there just to patch up your otherwise “perfect” life?

Have you invited him into the core of your being, and allowed him to set you right side up? To give you a whole new self?

January 8th, 2012

jamey — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:26:32 +0000

You can listen to the message here by subscribing to the podcast.

Read Mark 1.

The only way to get Jesus and his message is to follow him as a disciple.

What’s hindering you from discipleship?

Is it not resting? Is it drinking too much? Is it busyness? Is it addiction? Is it unwillingness to say yes to what God is asking you to do?

Click here to see the presentation from Sunday.

January 1st, 2012

jamey — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:23:16 +0000

Happy New Year!

This Sunday, Bill spoke on “the armor of God” and standing firm as we embark on a new year. You can listen to the message here by subscribing to the podcast.

Read Ephesians 6:10-17:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

You are probably fully aware of the things that tend to push you over. What is Paul saying we should do in light of those circumstances? The armor of God is not offensive, but defensive. All you are called to do is “to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

May you stand strong in the Lord and his mighty power this new year.

Advent – December 18th, 2011

jamey — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:21:24 +0000

You can listen to the message by going here, and subscribing to the podcast.

Love::

This Sunday we finished our Advent series by looking at the narrative of Jesus’ birth and the political climate into which he was born. Terms like “Savior,” “good news,” “peace,” “Messiah,” “Lord,” and “king” were reserved for Caesar and the Roman empire. Consider that as you read the following passage.

Luke 2

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.

Who competes for your allegiance?

How are you receiving Christ this Christmas?

Can you first receive the love of God before you live it out?

Advent Poem

jamey — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:41:51 +0000

I’ve received that which I did not ask for; beyond what I could dream.
A gift beyond invention – that’s God’s generosity.

I did not ask for this;
Couldn’t even fathom it.
That He would look on me to be
the one who would carry
His Son. God’s Son.
I’ve dreamt of being mother
Of bearing another
But never did I think on this,
One insignificant,
That He could ever look on me
To incarnate His glory.
His Son. God’s son.
There is no greater joy
Than birthing a baby boy.
And there is no greater task
Than doing what God asks.
So what favor that’s on me
To have His baby
His Son. God’s Son.
Yet here’s the duality
I see He’s not just for me.
This joy that is mine
Will have a piercing side
With grief sure to follow
When I pass him off tomorrow
His Son. God’s Son.
Yes, this child given to me
Is meant to be a blessing.
One that I will raise
from his infant days.
And then I let him go
To let the world know
His Son. God’s Son.
So here I’ve received
More than I believed
Far beyond what I could pray
O, to get, then to give away
His Son. God’s Son.

So given now to give away that which I’ve received
He gave me more than I could ask; His fierce generosity.

Advent – December 11th, 2011

jamey — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:54:30 +0000

You can listen to the message by going here, and subscribing to the podcast.

Generosity::

This Sunday was the third week in our Advent series, and we explored the theme of generosity.

The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” Genesis 12:1-3

God blesses his people not so that they can enjoy the blessings and out of the overflow bless others if they feel like it. The people of God are blessed to be a blessing. The whole reason we are blessed is to be a blessing to others. A generous heart understands that blessing is not a zero sum game. When you give away, God knows your needs even before you ask. Do you trust Him to take care of you?

Generosity is simply recognizing the things in your hand, and not gripping them tightly.

What are the things in your hand that you need to let go?

Are your hands open to receive the generosity of others?

Advent – December 4th, 2011

jamey — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 16:24:55 +0000

You can listen to the message by going here, and subscribing to the podcast.

Simplicity::

Between decking our halls, cutting out cookies, and picking up the perfect present, keeping up with the Kringles can turn Christmas into a time of stress and anxiety rather than comfort and joy. This week we took a look at the story culture is telling us Christmas is all about as they feed us over 2,000 ads a day. We also took a look at Luke 1 and 2 at the story of Jesus’ birth. Mary in modern days can be likened to a junior high student working at Circle K in Barstow. What sets her apart is her obedience and humility.

This week we are asking you what story are you living in? Are we buying into the advertisements that tell us Christmas is about accumulating, consuming and acquiring, or are we able to redeem culture from within as we proclaim what this season is all about?

Hello world!

stacker — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:56:01 +0000

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Advent – November 27th, 2011

jamey — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 19:37:30 +0000

For this year’s Advent season, we are exploring the themes of worship, simplicity, generosity and love.

Worship::

This week, Bill spoke on worship through the lens of Romans 12, and how that relates to the holiday season. You can listen to the message by going here, and subscribing to the podcast.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Roman 12:1-2

Many of us just had our annual Thanksgiving meal. Notice that it’s called “Thanksgiving” not “Turkey Day.” What are you truly thankful for this season? Thanksgiving is an entrance into worship. It says “enough” when everything around us says “more.” This is especially pertinent right now, because everywhere we look we are bombarded with advertisements that says you need “more.” Can you slow down this week and worship God with prayers of thanksgiving?

We created an advent calendar that you can read, reflect, and meditate on.